What can I say that hasn’t already been said to convince you guys that rape culture is pervasive at Stanford?
Exactly one year ago, October 2019, the Association of American Universities (AAU) surveyed 33 colleges and universities across America, and Stanford respondents came out in full force. 62% of Stanford students — equating to roughly 10,000 people — responded to the survey, and the results are loud and clear: 40% of undergraduate women who have been at Stanford University for four years have experienced some form of nonconsensual sexual contact. 23% said they were sexually assaulted. I’ll do the math for you. That’s 6,451 women who have had unwanted sexual contact, and 3,709 who have been sexually assaulted in the current student population. Extrapolate that over a decade, and you have 16,052 women who have had unwanted sexual contact, and 9,230 women who have been sexually assaulted.
Stanford women who had been sexually assaulted said they had difficulty concentrating on schoolwork. Twenty percent said their class attendance went down and 13% had difficulty going to work. Eleven percent considered dropping out of school and 9% withdrew from some or all of their classes. That means that any given time, 334 women at Stanford have withdrawn from some or all of their classes due to sexual assault. This not only has significant physical and emotional damage, but also a very real financial harm to these women. I would know, I was one of them. Nine years after graduation, I am still paying the consequences of the fiscal, physical, and emotional damages resulting from my Stanford experience. It’s not cheap — we’re talking tens of thousands in extra tuition and medical bills.
Perhaps stories are more convincing than numbers. All of my stories involve women who were assaulted while completely sober, lest you blame them for drinking or drug use.
One of my best friends at Stanford had her very first kiss ruined by a another student, who despite knowing that she had no sexual experience and was saving it for someone special, decided to forcibly kiss her so hard he left marks, and then penetrate her with his fingers, despite her protests. She had to wear a scarf for days to hide the marks that he left on her face and neck, and wouldn’t show me the bruising on her body. The emotional scar resulted in her gaining 70+lbs from stress. He told her to “not make a big deal out of it” and she was scared into complying because she feared mutual friends wouldn’t believe her. Mutual friends still describe this guy as a “nice guy” today, and he still lives in Santa Clara county.
Another friend would get periodically beaten and raped by her boyfriend, another Stanford student, whenever he was stressed. Fearing that no one would believe her, she never reported his actions. After they broke up, he went on to beat other Stanford women that he dated. He also lives in Santa Clara county today.
My own experience at Stanford was one of harassment and rumormongering by men whose advances I had rejected, as well as multiple sexual assaults from fellow students.
Here’s an example of the kind of daily harassment I experienced: once, a grad student cycled up next to me as I was walking to class. He asked invasive personal questions, repeatedly tried to get my contact information, and stalked me all the way to class. This happened in broad daylight and not a single bystander stepped in to help me out.
Another incident, I hung out with a fellow classmate at his dorm. His roommate made a lewd comment about us being together, which we both denied as it wasn’t true. Later, I learned that this classmate had told his roommate that I tried to “climb into bed with him” and that he had rejected me. The rumor soon spread throughout campus, especially amongst our friend group. Throughout my undergraduate years, I would hear him spread similar rumors about other women, over and over again.
I was also harassed by the director of the Kyoto overseas program during my study abroad time in Japan. He would put his arm around me and comment on how pretty I was, while staring down my dress. He heavily pressured me into taking his class. When I refused to take his class, he retaliated against me and took away my summer internship, stating that it was to “accommodate” my disability — simply because I was registered at the Office of Accessible Education for a reduced course load. At the time I was taking a full course load, but had gotten that pre-clearance as a safeguard due to academic difficulties after an assault the year before. The impact of his retaliation forced me to eventually use that clearance and reduce my course load that quarter. The Stanford administration then used my disabilities status to disregard my complaints against him. Multiple Stanford professors, Kyoto program employees, and students had made complaints against him for years preceding and years after my complaint. Yet no action was taken until his “buddy” in the Stanford Administration retired. He suspiciously retired the very next year amidst a constant barrage of complaints.
I was also assaulted multiple times while completely sober by Stanford men. One guy had decided to eat more pot brownies than even the most hardcore potheads, and was so high he couldn’t even speak anymore. He ended up puking all over the dorm and clogging the laundry room sink. I decided to take care of him, out of care for his wellbeing, and his friend who was similarly incapacitated. Both of them puked nonstop and I kept them upright until 4am, when they finally stopped puking. That classmate then decided, still unable to speak, that he wanted action right then and there, and proceeded to reach under my clothes, pin me down, and penetrate me. I can still recall the stench of his mouth full of puke as he forcibly kissed me. He did all of this right in front of his other friend. This same classmate and his friend would go on to tell our mutual friends that I was a “crazy ex” and that anything I said was untrue. I later found out that he and his friend told 100 people in their high school in a group email about how he had sex with me. Since he had gone to a magnet school, about 20 of his high school classmates were at Stanford in our year.
Even after graduation, Stanford’s rape culture followed me. Two years ago, I reconnected with a fellow alum. He claimed to be sad about a recent breakup and insisted that we hang out alone, rather than with other friends. Thinking he wanted to confide in me about his recent break up, I agreed to hang out at his apartment. He pressured me to drink a few sips of a cider that he prepared, and then stay and watch a movie, then another. I blacked out during the second movie. When I came to, I was extremely lethargic, and unable to go home. The entire night he tried to touch my breasts and finger me, but I kept resisting. I finally fell asleep, immobile, and he took this opportunity to rape me. I later figured out that I had been drugged, after I needed medications for insomnia following this incident.
If these stories and numbers don’t convince you that action is needed, then you are purposely turning a blind eye to these people in need, just like the Stanford administration.
白いキウィの大冒険 